your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
