Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
