So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I intend to get homeless drunk
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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