I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
