I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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