We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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