Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
