I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
