It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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