Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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