hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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