So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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