I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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