Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
