well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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