So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
