So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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