yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
