he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
