The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
