Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
