She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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