When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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