i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
