you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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