I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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