scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
