i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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