If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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