dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
