Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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