did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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