mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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