Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
