Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
