All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
