Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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