then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
