Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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