Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
do herpes really smell.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
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