How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
