It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
