Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
