if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
