Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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