If i come over, it means nothing
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
