she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
