the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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