marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
