She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
