why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
