Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
