We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
