I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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