Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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